Best short stoner jokes reddit. " This is my elephant joke and I love to tell it.

Best short stoner jokes reddit Reply reply I am 149cm or 4'11 and I am a 14M (in year 9/ 8th grade). We're all different and excellent. How do you catch a bear? You cut a hole in the ice. The main character is an alcoholic/stoner/druggie horse and his best friend is the guy who played Jesse Pinkman as It's impossible. Jul 26, 2022 · The joke should fit into one or two sentences. ” Although if the second sentence is a short sentence, it may be considered a one-liner. Oh he's a wild pot smoker that knocked a girl up in knocked up. r/Jokes: The funniest sub on Reddit. I do enjoy the lazy stoner jokes, and the comedies etc. They smoke, and then the lizard says that he is thirsty and goes doen the tree to the river to drink some water. The goal of /r/Movies is to provide an inclusive place for discussions and news about films with major releases. What did the turkey say to the computer? “Google, Google!” 5. 4K votes, 1. The devil goes to the alcoholic and says you can enter this room for 1000 years or burn in eternal fire. I thought I would try to figure out a joke he understands! Any jokes about weed or being a stoner would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks! The funniest sub on Reddit. From MMJ to munchies, from nugs to news, and… One day a Cadillac full of black guys wrecked into a farmer's field. Seth Rogen is a master of creating the illusion of humor. The first one is a two parter, and the second doesn't work in text. Lots of others here have brought up some of the stereotypical flaws that you might associate with being a stoner, such as inability to take things seriously or lack of short-term memory. The visuals, music, and complex, layered, storyline leaves you wondering what you just watched for the next half hour while you replay the soundtrack and close your eyes in an attempt to recreate even a single breathtaking view from the movie, of which there are many. S. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky! 3. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 11,677 votes and 5,659 comments Stoner sat idle during all of this. Posted by u/Obvious_Coffee6017 - 7,594 votes and 2,914 comments Stoner: "Alright maaan, uhhh, how about. Wow how humorous. " The Green Beret looks at him and says "No, Special Forces is the best the Army has to offer. As they sit around the fire the Ranger says "Rangers are the best the Army has to offer, one time my platoon stormed a Taliban OP, killed 25 men, and discovered a weapons cache. I think weed is sometimes classified as a depressant because it depresses brain function. Swiss and add cheddar, please. Aug 6, 2024 · Light up and enjoy these 10 funny stoner jokes that we have found! Jokes and cannabis go together like peanut butter and jelly. And it's kind of obvious, so you might want to push it in to the absurd after that "but he got wa 47M subscribers in the AskReddit community. 418 votes, 17 comments. Fish Tank Skelton at the bar. You guys loaded me up. I like being short very much and I sometimes feel weird if I am around someone shorter. " Some may call them "Corny Jokes. And as for stoner "prog" or metalprogI'm not even going there. “I watched jackass to see him kick himself in the head” “He made a video of him and his bitch in intercourse it hit the internet and it was considered midget porn” What are some good short joke lines you’ve heard. How do you hide an Elephant? A1. I would deliver to many a house to get cussed out for the pizza being later/wrong/round - mainly they were trying to scam a free pizza. Jones gets a call from the hospital. Submissions should be for the purpose of informing or initiating a discussion, not just to entertain readers. Welcome to the unofficial Majority Report fan subreddit! Broadcasting live, steps from the industrially-ravaged Gowanus Canal in the heartland of America: downtown Brooklyn, USA. "For my second wish, I want a 12 inch blunt!" And poof! A blunt appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. Here's my short list: American Dad, "Joint Custody" (Stan gets high) King of the Hill, "High Anexity" (Hank gets high) That 70's Show, every single episode (But especially the one where the parents get high) Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 6 votes and 4 comments 337 votes, 173 comments. True now. Otherwise some heat will help soften harder stuff and get it broken down. 312K subscribers in the asktransgender community. 70 votes, 110 comments. Reply reply Posted by u/DoctorNurse89 - 3 votes and 2 comments r/Jokes A chip A close button. Lucky you I've been smoking on and off since 2012 and I'm so glad dispensary exist now. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. The punchline doesnt have to be one word of course, but it cant be a long joke. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Disjointed was a decent idea and should be what I'm wanting, but I found it's jokes falling flat and leaned really hard on high=dumb, making most of the cast uninteresting. But in the search for a few good short ones, I would come across thousands of longer ones and it would take me hours, so I thought of making a thread on here. This along with following him through his whole life connects you to the character on a deeper level, and John Williams’ prose is nothing short of brilliant. And our nation's stoners have taken to the subreddit r/highdeas to share the funniest and most insightful thoughts they've had while they're high. Nobody has ever made a joke about my height I haven't heard. Stoner Joke A pothead finds a strangely looking old oil lamp in the trash and rubs it to clean it up a bit when suddenly a genie comes out of it. We should start asking these people why they're on Reddit at all, tapping on things that need to be read, if they know they're busy lol. A friendly place for all the 'loner stoners' of the world to come together and ask questions, get advice and chat about all things weed. I will say that I'm pretty good at deflecting short jokes, and because I'm blonde, and played guitar in bands in the 80s, inevitable comparisons were made to Randy Rhoads. Jokes not considered dad jokes may be removed at the moderators The funniest jokes on reddit Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful. My favorite show to watch while stoned is Spongebob seasons 1-5 specifically, the show starts to go downhill in later seasons. Reply reply Edit: thanks for the jokes and the awards my dudes! These are amazing. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Posted by u/Garmgarmgarmgarm - 13 votes and 10 comments I was a big stoner for about 8 years. Oh he's a laid back store employee that just smokes pot and has sex in 40 year old virgin. Joke aside, I've been the beginner who thinks he absolutely needs a black agressive looking bass with humbuckers and 5 strings. From Emo Phillips: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. 3M subscribers in the cursedcomments community. For successfully thwarting the thing that drove him to sin, the stoner will be granted 100 years in heaven. They will take it to their graves. From MMJ to munchies, from nugs to news, and… 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. What does shaggy smoke? A scooby doobie. Tell me a joke if you’ve got one! I’ve been using the same one since 2000. Only when spoken aloud. Naturally, none of the brothers were wearing seat belts and flew right out of the soft top strewing the five of them all over the field. 576 votes, 1. Dad jokes are either told with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor. My friend got suspended from Home Ec the other day. I love both of these jokes!!My father was a surgery resident literally in the early 1940s. So great a wish in fact that I will grant you one more wish. So, if you are going off roading, looking into riding along for a trip off road, wanting suggestions for off roading in the Colorado area, or maybe just building a rig and need some help, maybe this will be a place to have a look. Shameful. Apr 20, 2023 · Discover a collection of the funniest stoner jokes that will have you and your friends rolling with laughter during your next smoke session. The series is predominantly written by its stars Blake Anderson, Adam DeVine, and Anders Holm who play three recent college graduates, roommates, and co-workers at Telamericorp, a telemarketing company, living in Rancho Cucamonga, California. 341K subscribers in the StonerEngineering community. He got arrested for possession Posted by u/TheGeneralTulliuss - 128 votes and 45 comments A simple, short dirty joke to catch the guy with a mouthful of beer off guard. I never considered them jokes or insults. you are probably right :) The meatball marijuana. I haven’t heard a good joke in years. " The bartender, in awe of the metaness of this joke, gives me a drink. 5K comments. So, the first one, whatever it was. Apr 20, 2020 · 4/20 is now a national holiday for better or worse. Stan and Jeff also represent a dynamic that shows the juxtaposition of the family -- you've got a stone cold from the ground up hot traditional daddy, and then you've got a stoner hippie who blows sick glass bowls for fish and makes the best Argument Sauce. How many decades does it take for those juniors now green behind the ears to finally wash clean of this formulaic ,uninspiring dross. And I'm glad I went in that direction, I'm satisfied with my Sire M2 and my Traben, they sound great for metal (among other things). The ground was made of kief, all the bushes wore beatiful buds and even the trees were 20 feet tall cannabis plants. Oh he's a stoner on a stoner adventure with fellow humor man TM James Franco Posted by u/ScientificCat - 6 votes and 6 comments the whole consensus in the internet comedy space is that joe rogans stand up sucks. How many Elephants fit in a Volvo? A. P. Questions and discussions about, for, to, or from the Reddit transgender… 3. Thank you thank you! Tough to narrow down the best, but I will cause there has to be a winner. So perhaps it comes down to why the stoner is a stoner. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes. " And poof! A joint appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. Edit*. A monkey is sitting in a tree. (This is somewhat similar to the haven't properly run the numbers, but my understanding is that resin/shatter in a proper rig is the most cost efficient form. I loved my stoner customers A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey. Do enough people in the general population smoke enough to justify most media having “token” stoner elements? Workaholics is a television sitcom that premiered on Comedy Central on April 6, 2011. The pupils are giggling and the teacher interjects and says “now now, a Fokker is a type of aircraft, isn’t that right sir” to which the veteran replies “maybe so, but Young Alyson Stoner back in her Mike Super Short Show and Suite Life of Zack & Cody days had a completely unique vibe! Especially for me still being a young kid at the time. comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. I work at a cannabis facility and write jokes of the day on a white board. 2M subscribers in the trees community. ye he uses a loud presence and facial expressions to get his jokes across but it was entertaining throughout and i laughed a decent amount. Posted by u/Medical-Link-8391 - 15,488 votes and 3,335 comments 28K votes, 7. he does have a unique way of seeing things in his own 'stoner bro' way which is compelling. The subreddit for comments that strike the reader into oblivion. It's about how the joke is delivered. 5 person NYE party tonight. But some are just as career developed and living that family life as I am. He first told them to me in my teens about 40 years ago… 775 votes, 18 comments. Looking for new stoner friends? Wanna be part of a friendly community of stoners? Come join us on Discord! The Stoner Thoughts discord server is a drama-free, friendly, open and welcoming community of stoners hanging out! Come be part of the community! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. does anyone have any good ones? my favourite is 'I just bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day'. The Wackness and Kids aren't stoner comedies but there is a lot of weed being smoked throughout. There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. The stoner is at peace: seemingly transcended, though with a twinge of sadness. Stoner,metal,sludge. The bartender, not really amused gives the guy a drink. The Stoner Thoughts discord server is a drama-free, friendly, open and welcoming community of stoners hanging out! Come be part of the community! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Yep. I suppose it depends on the strain; perhaps you should try out different strains that make you less forgetful. THE BEST. Best Doom/Stoner pedals I'm looking to expand my board by 2-3 pedals and want to focus on a Doom/Stoner project I've had on the back burner for a hot minute now. Driver responds, “But officer, I can only drive ONE WAY!” This is a joke my dad used to tell me when I was a kid, trying to pass it off as something he did. Most people would consider themselves more clever under the influence of cannabis and these jokes are the perfect blend of humor and wordplay. Here are some of our favorites. I understand the possibility of violating TOS, and i only know a few streamers who smoke as well. Paint its toenails red and put it in a strawberry patch. You could even find rocks of hashish laying around the forest floor if you looked closely. You give a few pot heads a bunch of weed and nothing to smoke out of and… Why the hell do people think this sort of thing adds anything to lists of jokes. It is the only book I have read where I can honestly say that I have felt happiness, sadness, anger and pity all in one story and still come out not quite understanding how I truly feel. Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken! 2. This is a perfect example of a joke that requires perfect comedic timing; if you put a comma between "things" and "literally", the joke sounds too obvious and a bit cheesey, but if you don't put a short pause there, it will take too long for the audience to laugh. You can also get some decent mileage out of oil carts, but the cost of the physical carts (not the oil) adds up over time whereas you only need to build/buy a dab rig once. I'm going on a t break. but that's not what we are talking about. It must have been loosened from all her potty-dancing. Haha, I like this one. I really loved this book, and would agree that those who haven’t read it should, it is in my estimation one of the great novels written. Some people are born with lame jokes in their heart and so here, everyone is a dad. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. Business, Economics, and Finance Posted by u/UrbanHipHop - 10 votes and 11 comments r/pickuplines: A subreddit for all your pick up line needs. There were every strain it has or ever will be possible to grow. Movies like Up in Smoke and Half Baked really do have a lot of good stoner jokes in it that potheads like me can 100% relate to. If they're using it as an escape, they will probably stay If they're more on the addict side than the recreation side of stoner, this may be a strong enough bond to create conflict with party priorities. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them… Fair enough, but it seems like lots of comedy shows and movies have the “comedic” stoner character and a lot of standup comedians do weed jokes. I'll start. Flaws. 34K subscribers in the LaughJokes community. Cheesy jokey emails sent en masse always do this, and it mildly pisses me off every time (or at least it used to before I started deleting them without reading). The go-to subreddit for anything and everything cannabis. And our nation's stoners have taken to the subreddit r/ highdeas to share the funniest and most insightful thoughts they've had while they're high. The tall cop's jaw dropped. Posted by u/poisonedyouth96 - 348 votes and 31 comments Nov 12, 2024 · Funny & best Thanksgiving Dad Jokes: 1. 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. ” It is not to be confused with a short joke: “Generally, if your joke would be more funny if it was written into more sentences, it's probably not a one-liner. 30 Best Stoner Thoughts . The funniest sub on Reddit. but i just watched his special and it wasnt even bad at all. Maybe the 'they got high, shenanigans, a delusional epic adventure, hunt for bud/smoke more bud, more shenanigans, all things fall into place' structure Posted by u/MrSa1t - 8 votes and 2 comments Alright everyone, let's hear your funniest stories from when you were stoned. Please give us your best short physics joke. Posted by u/atmarcotte2 - 1,412 votes and 2,556 comments Depends on the hash! If you've got some squidgy black the best is rol roll it into a noodle and rest it in the middle of your joint. They don't come right out and say it but it's pretty obvious and rumor tells there were more blatant drug references (such as making weed in a Replicator) but were taken out of the script early on to have a lower rating or some shit . The room is untouched, though lovingly landscaped. reReddit: Top posts of March 25, 2022. I have a lot going on already so I wont be listing specific pedals (mainly because of duplicates), but I already have distortion, chorus, reverb, drive, and vibrato. The short cop farted. 92K subscribers in the short community. Yes, our icon is a line drawing of a pickup. Jokes posted must be dad jokes. The monkey sees a lizard on the ground and invites him up to smoke a joint. And, when the bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole. That's right - never. Three men die and go to hell, an alcoholic, sex addict and a stoner. Share your funny stories/experiences, favourite smoke spots, jokes/memes, best songs to get high to, weed related art or high creations. The stoner says, "ok for my first wish, I want a six inch joint. Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing! 4. The long running jokes that go on for seasons is absolutely genius. As a stoner myself who occasiobally smokes on stream, I am surprised that there arent more stoner streamers. Top posts of November 17, 2019 Top posts of November 2019 Top posts of 2019 Top posts of November 2019 Top posts of 2019 Just a sub-reddit for everything that occurs off road and off paved surfaced in a motor vehicle, in the state of Colorado. I mean it. Q. " This is a place for G-rated, short, and funny jokesperfect for kids and any audience. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! I need a joke for a meeting we have tomorrow at work but I cant remember any good ones after following this tradition weekly for the last few months. The bra walks up to the bar to order 3 beers. Some may call them "Dad Jokes. A place where everyone can trade freely without restrictions, all trades are allowed as long as it is an in-game item. My friend/coworker never understands my jokes, he was born in Italy and speaks fluent Italian but has some troubles speaking English. "Congratulations, you freed me from my captivity! 67 votes, 33 comments. " This is my elephant joke and I love to tell it. This string must be told in succession and in relatively rapid fire style: Q. 29M subscribers in the Jokes community. I thought that my lighter was missing so I look for it for like 10 minutes only to find it For me it was : I wish my grades were as me , always high. Veganism: A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. Get app Get the Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. I lived in South east Chicago back then and well. To be clear, dad status is not a requirement. He thought for a few… 191 votes, 13 comments. They will be confused at this answer --- continue with jokes. Also on Netflix besides Big Mouth which was already recommended, Bojack Horseman. The bartender goes "I can give you one if you tell me a meta joke", so the guy goes "so this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender a drink, which is promptly given to him". "Rookie, hand me--" The tall cop's sentence got cut short as the girl's marijuana pipe hit the asphalt in slow-motion. It’s been a few years since I’ve heard a joke told at work or by a friend and I’m curious why they are no longer in style. 7K comments. " I said, "God loves you. The trailer alone has so many great lines: "No matter how many sea lions get eaten by sharks, it never seems like enough" "Over here we spot some South American gazelles. 343K subscribers in the StonerEngineering community. Also boring plots. com Apr 20, 2020 · Vote up the stoner highdeas that makes you laugh or cough! 4/20 is now a national holiday for better or worse. I understand if you're waiting for something so you're just scrolling around on Reddit. Why did the chicken cross the road? Heres one I hear in highschool. Or check it out in the app stores Medical Dark Humor: Mr. What a joke. See full list on stonersrotation. Four. I miss hash. He sighed in annoyance as he stuck out his hand again towards his goofy henchman. Cool customers, bit of banter, usually a tip, sometimes a beer and sometimes a smoke. The abrupt end to the joke emphasizes the fact that the joke is only this short because they aren't Jews, highlighting this stereotypical difference. Here is one of my favorite YT channels, its Dylan from season 1 of American Vandal. It's mostly comedy sketches. Sad really. Yes, toasted, please. Thank you, The Fountain is an amazing movie sober and even better high. r/stonerdadjokes: stonerdadjokes. The expectation of the listener is that there will be some sort of story. no, I'm not talking about the jokes, I'm talking about the genuine prejudices and there are genuine prejudices. it was easy to get weed but getting a good deal or dealer was crucial and terrifying if you didn't have or know anyone, the pressures of getting arrested or the case of mistaken identity or a ez come up by being robbed or killed plus the whole idea of The go-to subreddit for anything and everything cannabis. So me and two buddies had just smoked a gram of some proper chronic, this shit was hella dank and the crew had just come out of a T-break too, so it hit us like a freight train. I actually created this post to have something to say when things get awkward at this 6. What can i get you?" The horse says "how about a blowjob" The bartender takes $5 from the horse and then disappears under the horse. Many of my cohorts are exactly where I left them, doing exactly what they were doing when I left 15-20 years ago. com Style format, making… As written, I don't like any of them, but if you'd like I do have some ideas. "Italian BMT on Parmesean Oregano. 3K votes, 177 comments. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me. We take unfunny jokes from humor themed subreddits, and turn them into Funwaa. So yeah I understand what you're saying but that shouldn't always rationalize people's short attention span. It must be short with just an opening line and a punchline like this: Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken. The teacher asked him what a good substitute for a pot holder would be. At the risk of over-analyzing, I would add that I think it's an example of an anti-joke. Here are two of my favorites. I’ll go first: “Last week a baby boy was born without eyelids. Posted by u/drempire - 17,167 votes and 209 comments Not really a short joke but your joke reminded me of it: A bra, a battery, and a set of jumper cables walk into a bar and take a seat at a table. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. Welcome to /r/short: Celebrating being FUN SIZED for 10 years! Read this on Reddit once before, so apologies to the person whose joke I stole: A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "Cheese Sandwiches $1" and then below that, another sign that reads "Handjobs $2". Anything as long as it's weed related or you're really high when posting it! 47M subscribers in the AskReddit community. You give a few pot heads a bunch of weed and nothing to smoke out of and… Idk if this helps, but I used to struggle with crazy anxiety (like being so anxious on the street that my body would shutdown and I'd faint like a goat) and SLEEP kinda helped me A LOT. So yeah long story short I think it revolves around the goodwill that being attentive on the subject matter earns you. idk if this is a weird request but feel free to comment short people jokes in the comment, don't be afraid that it might hurt me, I would very much enjoy it! BTW no need to tell me I will grow. I play a variety of games, and I know there are a good amount of stoner gamers out there. Some of the plants have been carefully shaped like the Buddha, but unconsumed. From MMJ to munchies, from nugs to news, and everything between! The casual cannabis community Let's make a list of special "stoner" episodes of popular TV shows. But every time I reached a stoner house it was a little piece of heaven. Ik a variation, one guy, three challenges, challenge one drink 10 litters of vodka, challenge 2, brake an elephant's leg, challenge 3: make the oldest woman of the village pregnant, he walks into the first tent, succeeds, and walks out drunk, walls i to the second tent, for the next hour weird animal noises can be heard, then, finally, he walks out, dead drunk, and says "Now on to breaking the Arrested Development has one of the best writing in television imo. 85 votes, 13 comments. The Friday series could definitely qualify. A couple I recall are. OfficePopular Reddit . And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!" Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors. I browse r/jokes all the time in the hopes of finding short and straight to the point jokes which I can tell to friends and family members. 3. The Fokker joke is the Battle of Britain veteran speaking to some school kids and says “there were fokkers here, fokkers there, we had to shoot the fokkers down”. Not a hint of smoke to be found. Wow what a crazy guy. You take a can of peas and you sprinkle it around the hole. . " old guys and stoners are two of the best people to ask for a joke from, so there should be some funny ones floating around this sub. These jokes were told exactly the same way back then! True that. Probs the effects of intoxication. Seems tough to come up with good short jokes. -I feel like the first one could be developed in to a joke, maybe with some sort of anecdote involving Beans that establishes him, instead of just saying you nicknamed a friend beans. Love a hash bong too, very versatile. a joint of the best weed EVER that never goes out or burns up, and I will never gain a tolerance to it" Leprechaun: "A neverending joint, splendid wish. Definition: A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. Not just a normal wreck but full on flipping and shit. Galaxy Quest, a Star Trek parody where in Tony Shalhoub (guy who played Monk) plays a stoned guy for the whole movie. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your… Stoner is one of the most beautifully sad stories I have ever read. These two and three-paragraph jokes the others are telling just won't work at a bar. Rules: 1-Always be respectful in both offering and replying to offers. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 13,799 votes and 441 comments 2. Some dads are wholesome, some are not. It was, in short, a stoner's paradise. bdw klsnbde vii jwaoz ldm kncl ihxc rfj ycjszq xxdcjq